The red demon

Again, another slow motion effect going on… It feels like life is continuing without me, everything is going fast around me and I am stuck waiting.

I am waiting for what I call ‘my red demons’ because I hate the word ‘period’ and yes, they are evil so demon is appropriate. I am waiting for it to come so the whole crazy fertility process can start. I normally don’t get the red demon when my body is under stress, or at least it post pones it self for a few weeks, but I don’t have a few weeks, not even a few days to waste for time. I am staying calm and wishing them to come as soon as possible.

In good news, I am back driving again this week. It feels so good. I feel like I have some kind of power again and not having to rely on other people for driving me to the chemist, or to every single appointment I have. Or even to just go for a nice drive in the beautiful weather to get out of the house for 30 mins.

I didn’t go to the gym much last week because I had that stupid cold. It was almost like a bug, I had all day nausea, aches and pains, no voice, sinus pain, sore runny/dry/itchy eyes, fizzy nose like I needed to sneeze every 5 seconds also blocked and runny feelings and extreme fatigue. I am only sniffling today and on and off clearing my throat. Thank god it is exiting my body!

Back to talking about the gym… I went tonight for only half an hour but was amazed in the strength I am getting back in my arm! Wow! I can lift it higher and much further than I could say three days ago. I also shaved my armpit last night, I think that is the first time in about 5-6 weeks now. I said good bye to all my protection hair that had helped me through the last few tough weeks as I shaved it off. It took a good 10 minutes to do too, because I cannot lift my arm high for one, and two, the area is numb so I had to be extra cautious not to slip and cut myself.

I am slowwwly getting comfortable being around more people now too. I have my right arm programmed to be my hugging arm and to do the slow pull away motion so that the other person doesn’t hug me too hard or in a sore spot without realising.

I have been receiving mail gifts like its Christmas too. Some people are so thoughful. Sending such lovely appropriate gifts that will be helping me. I am really so lucky to have so many great people around me.

Started using Revita-nail today. I want to strengthen my nails up now before chemo. I reaaaally don’t want blackened paperthin nails falling out. Gross nails has always been a bit of a fear of mine.

Physio again tomorrow. Keen to show Emma what I am able to do and get some nice massaging to release the tension of those  damn cords.

Don’t really know what else to say. I feel tired.

The red demon

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