Stay what you are..

To end my day, I will continue to listen to my favorite Saves The Day album – Stay What You Are. It features a song that has been an all time favorite for many years now, whilst also Adam and my song. Its called Nightingale. We always said it would be our wedding song and everytime it comes on we both sing it as loud as possible from start to finish. Today I cried as I sung it in the car on the way home.

Saves The Day – Nightingale

And I will flail under these lights,
that seep down from the bitter sky tonight
and I will kick and beat my wrists together
and feel an ocean breathing waves, feel them licking at my face.

Ceilings don’t exist and there are no floors beneath me.
If I were king of this night, would you become my queen?

And I hope, your majesty that you like your position.
I’ll do everything I can to keep you by my side
and I’ll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.

I’ll have to walk a thousand miles
just to find the ground deserving of your feet.
You could throw me down and walk on me
and I’d just look on through my love and through the haze.

And I hope, your majesty that you like your position.
I’ll do everything I can to keep you by my side
and I’ll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.

The nightingales are singing now.
They’re calling out our marriage to our subjects on their knees.
Their jewelery is thrown into the air.
They sigh at their release as their shackles hit the ground.
The trumpets call out now, we’re home at last.

And I hope, your majesty that you like your position.
I’ll do everything I can to keep you by my side
and I’ll stare off through the darkness to find us a kingdom.
Just kiss me before I go.

Today I had a nervous breakdown in a coffee shop. When I say nervous breakdown, I mean, shaking, sweating, screaming and grasping the sugar container off the table so tightly that I was quivvering and trying my hardest to fight myself off not smashing it across the shop floor. It was like a heat wave thats struck over me within seconds. I have never ever ever felt so much rage in my life. There were lots of people around and I am normally very conscious about publicity and not to make scenes infront of people but it was like I was in the store alone and no one else existed at the time. I don’t know what people saw, heard or said. But I did not think to care what anyone thought. Jess and mum very calmly took me outside for a walk and fresh air and made me feel heaps better.

The situation was worsened by the fact my phone was on the table infront of me and I was receiving calls and texts all at the same time. It was just the worst timing. Sorry to the people of Cottesloe if I ruined your day..

This afternoon we made a trip to the Cancer Council. The people were sooo lovely. Everyone is just so amazing and helpful. I know they have to be, but a lot of them are working for them because they have been affected themselves at some stage in their lives and understand the lifestyle. I went here today to visit the Wig Library. It is a service the Cancer Council provides for anyone with cancer and loosing their hair for a free wig fitting. Jan took me through, she is a breast cancer survivor from a few years ago. We found a really nice wig that didn’t look too bad and all I had to do was give my contact details and it was mine until I either wanted to return it after treatment or if I wanted to come back and change it for a different one for a change. The wigs are supplied to the Cancer Council through ‘Celebrity Wigs’ over east as a grant, yet for no cost at all to the public. Such an amazing idea and saves you buying one for up to thousands of dollars.

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think. Yes it is just a synthetic wig, but I think its pretty good for a fake head of hair! P.s I have nooo make-up on, so I’d say it will look better when I do.

I also was blessed with the ‘red demons’ today. THANK GOD! Although I had already called the Concept Fertility Clinic for the blood test results before this happened and my Estrogen levels were quite low (as we wanted) but the Progesterone levels were not. So I am lucky I got my period today or I’d be waiting longer for IVF to start. So.. Tomorrow it is first injection day. I will be going into the clinic really early tomorrow to be educated and receive my injection pens.

 Anyway, a good end to a.. good yet also crazy day. I look forward to tomorrow because I know the weather is going to be as amazing as it was today.

 Hello suuuummmmer!!!!!!!!!! ❤

Stay what you are..

4 thoughts on “Stay what you are..

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