Yesterday I had a really long day. Definitely pushed it too hard.
The day started with a 7:30 BT and U/S again. Still having pretty low estrogen levels for what we are trying to achieve. The results from the last BT showed I was at 960 – which at least that seems like a decent jump from 400. From what I had been told I thought my aim was 800? but I must of been wrong. I think it was expected to be 800 when it was at 400.
So I spent the rest of the day running around doing little bits and pieces, driving lengthy drives and felt like at about 1pm I was about to crash. Mentally and physically. I was so tired. Too bad because I was at least a 25 min drive from home, out and waiting to pick Brooklyn up from the vet. We went into my favorite women’s sport attire store which we go in regularly and know the lady on a name to name basis kind of thing. Mum had a credit note and was just swapping an item over, she said good bye to Jess and I and left to go home. Jess had a couple of things she was buying and I was in a day dream staring off into the distance wondering how the hell I was going to drive home feeling like this and also had offered to assist Adam with a photoshoot for an hour or so… Anyway, The sales lady said to me… ‘you look realllly tired’ and I kinda rolled my eyes and said ‘yeah.. I am’ and she looked deeply into my eyes and said ‘everything is going to be okay….’ WHAT?! it was so weird… she talked to us for a good 35 mins and had both Jess and I in tears. She was hugging me and conforting me. She was talking about how she had a spiritual link with me which is called ‘confirmation’ everytime it occured whilst we spoke, we had freezing cold shivvers over our bodies. Like, not just a ‘someone just walked over my grave shivver’ I mean, ICE cold. She mentioned heaps of things that some I unfortunately can’t even remember. She did say that ‘whatever you have on this afternoon and tonight, you need to cancel. You need to start making things about YOU not other people, you have been given this journey for a reason and need to take it as a holiday on life and find out what you really enjoy doing and find yourself. Your life has not been taken away, its like a blessing because you have the chance to make things perfect and live a healthy, fantastic, full filled life.’ Also you already are a testimonial for so many people and such an inspiration’ and… ‘God only gives us what we can handle’. I am not a religious person but I think this still made sense. Plus this was the only thing she said that was using the word ‘god’, everything else was very meditation-like which I now understand from my own meditation classes. I seriously felt like I had met a my guardian angel. She had crazy visions and it was like something you would only see on some American TV show, except this was reeeeal and happening to me. She was so spot on with things, I just couldn’t believe it.
Funnily enough, a similar experience happened on Wednesday when I was out with Mum and Rosa. I purchased a fragrance from a perfume store and the sales lady picked up on heaps of things and when I asked for a certain fragrance she said ‘this is a really beautiful choice, its appropriate for anywhere and everywhere, you can wear this in hospital and not be over powering, the lady that was in just before you bought the same and she is a nurse.’ She said ‘your not working at the moment are you..?’ I said no… she said ‘are you unwell?’ Uh huuuh…. I said whilst nodding slowly. She said ‘I’m not sure what your journey is but I know you will be okay.’ Mum and Rosa were speechless, we walked out all saying ‘wow what just happened..’ I am attracting the strangest things its unbelievable!
Last night I went out to the city for a few hours after assisting Adam for a photoshoot. I knew I was pushing it but I had to go. I needed to see familiar faces that I had not seen in weeks/months. These people all know who they are! Basically anyone I spoke to last night. I felt really happy to be out and felt like nothing had changed.
Today I had to be up again early for BT and U/S at Concept. Once I got home I went straight back to bed till 3:30pm and I am still exhausted. After this blog entry I am going to curl up on the couch with Skins – Season 4 (thanks to Clare for leaving this for me to watch!) I have barely eaten today and not really hungry either, I will have to think of something I want before Adam gets home from the gym or I will end up eating nothing because he has to go out and DJ tonight. I am 99.9% sure I will be staying home tonight even though I was a bit excited to go out with Lynz and Aimee tonight. (Plus mum just suprised me by bringing over my new heels I had on layby!) But I need to listen to my body and stay home to rest.
So yes, Lynz arrived in Perth last night. It was soooo sooooo good to see her again. I have missed her way too much. <3<3<3<3<3
In other news, my new long acting insulin – Levemir seems to be working well which is great. This chest infection/hayfever/whatever the hell it is – is still lingering around.. I am a bit concerned still because I will be having those 2 operations next week and I don’t want my immune system down whilst under general anesthetic.
Photo from last night, Emma and Kristie aren’t in it – but some weirdo guy jumped in. NOT the best photo but its all I got.