I have been in the worst haze of chronic fatigue the past two days. I am feeling a little better at the moment after endless naps and resting which took up my whole monday day and evening.

Monday (yesterday) was day 3 of cycle 2. I have experienced chronic fatigue with glandular fever 10 years ago, but I have to say, this is worse. This exhaustion disables every living part of my body. I was struggling to even move my mouth yesterday when talking. All I could do was slur.

My side effects are a little bit different this time around. My headaches are horrendous, they are very sharp and sudden and take a while to subside with painkillers. I am also experiencing a lot of bone aching. Mainly in my hips, thighs, knee caps and ankles. It feels like the lubricated area between my bones is non-existant and the bones are grinding over each other even when I am just laying on the couch. What else… My hair is fully shaved at a number zero as of sunday night although it still looks patchy because half of it is completely fallen out and the rest is as close a shave I can get to without being scared of cutting my head and causing a crazy scalp infection.

In other news, I had my second centerlink appointment this afternoon. Everything is finally getting processed and hopefully approved for payments to start ASAP. One of my bank accounts is at ‘-$124.00’ and the other has less than $80. Too bad because I really want to shop for nice things for my head/face.

I have also still been receiving lots of mail and lovely presents from friends. Its so nice to go to the letterbox in the morning, feeling glum and drab only to find a sweet letter or little package on the doorstep. Seriously, I feel like I don’t deserve it all! Everyones too good to me. I have kept every little thing I’ve been given (yes, if its flowers – I’ve kept the cards) just so at the end I can look at all the wonderful people that thought of me in some way or other!

I realised through conversation with someone the other week, that I had not posted a photo of the wig I purchased just over a month ago I think now? I did say to myself I didn’t wanna buy one online because its just so hard finding one that actually fits and looks right even trying them on in shops! But… I found one and took a chance. Its pretty much exactly how my hair was before I chopped it short, just not as long. Keep an eye out below for a photo which I will attach.

I have a few important events coming up over the next few months and I am already sort of thinking of things to wear (that is so not like me. I choose at the last minute!) But I want to look good and show people that I can look completely normal and have fun too. First is Megan’s 30th in a couple of weeks, then Christmas stuff – which I’ll see how I feel… because I will be in the middle of my bad week of treatment and may not be able to do anything. Then there is NYE which I have said, I have chemo that day too but will probably still go out for a little while. In January it will be Adam’s 26th so I want to have something special for him, then in FEB its Ryan and Megan’s wedding! I have lots to look forward to and many outfits and hair/head things to plan. May I add, hopefully times out with Lynz as she will be back in Perth in 23 days!

I am about to take Brooklyn for a short walk around the block, here is a couple of photos of us being in love.

Sorry about the no make-up. Though, I’m sure you don’t really care.

Say another prayer,
hoping things will change.
here under the stars.

Saves The Day


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