Yesterday I went to the Solaris Centre at SJOG for a complimentary remedial massage. It was pretty unreal as my body is just tight and achey all over. The healing hands of the therapist were bliss and also helped my really sore thigh muscles from too much gym work over the past three days. Afterwards I was given a free cup of tea – I will be taking up more and more treatments at the Solaris Centre now that I have been once, I have been missing out on their free offers and need to book in waaay more!
Still on a bit of a downer really.. Since chemo on friday I have been struggling to eat, walk and been really bored. Movies are boring, Tv is boring, sleeping is boring… everything. I started on a couple of illustrations this week to try get back into drawing whilst sick but I have two that are incomplete and I don’t feel they are adequate enough to bother finishing. I have been taking a few photos with my Diana F+ camera on occaisions but wish I could take more. I want to go out, walk and explore for interesting shots yet I am too scared to leave the house too far incase something happens to me and I need to come home. Its really a viscious circle of – ‘Ohh I could do this.. Oh wait, I better not.. just incase’.
Today has been terrible. Back to my exhaustion where the stair case seems like a never ending maze to get up. Everything I eat or drink doesn’t stay in my body for even 30 seconds. I’m pretty much a human sift, nothing stays down. Not even a couple of slices of mango I ate for breakfast. I am extremely nauseas and sensitive to all scents. My headaches are terrible and Panadol isn’t helping fast enough. Been having lots of hot flashes too.. Now I thought maybe this could be some kind of temperature coming on, but its not. My only explanation is that my body is heading into stages of Pre-Menopause. It makes sense because I am 3 weeks late for my period and I don’t feel it is coming on any time soon. So thats pretty awesome isn’t it? I am pretty much in the body of a 50 year old woman at the moment.
I’ve dropped more weight, at 52 kgs, I’ve been at that for a lil while now actually. Last friday at chemo the nurse freaked out when I got on the scales because I was 6 kilos lighter than I was three weeks prior to that. She wouldn’t listen to me when I said I was up at a huge 58kg from the bloating on the IV antibiotics. When your weight changes by a certain amount its important for them to know as your Cytotoxic drug doses are measured by your weight.
Brooklyn has definitely vibed that I am feeling really unwell again today. She has been protecting me by barking when any noise is present in the house and just snuggling up to me when I am resting or sleeping (I pretty much slept all day). She spent a lot of time licking my bald head too which was pretty funny. It must feel nice on her tongue. Mum came over today and stayed with me for a few hours and just looked after me. Even while I was sleeping. She was pretty worried about me and it was nice to have someone with me without having to chat or entertain. Just be there.
One day till Lynz arrives. ❤