As most of us know, Menopause is a term used to describe the permanent cessation of the primary functions of the human ovaries. It occurs in women in midlife, during their late 40s or early 50s, and signals the end of the fertile phase of a woman’s life (Obviously there are exceptions like women with my condition).

Normally, I wake up in night sweats most nights. I always have and I don’t really know why. My sister also does so it must be just a Cribbon thing? But now that I am experiencing pre-menopause side effects this has become worse. I wake up every night several times reaaally hot and throw the covers off then wake up cold and pull them back on, probably once or twice and hour. My dreams are still even more real and vivd than ever, most dreams being nightmares beyond psychotic.

Lunch was spent with the lovely Lynz today, short but sweet. I felt like I needed lots of company today, feeling a little bit needy. I spent the rest of the afternoon with Adam being a passenger in the car whilst he ran several errands. Being home alone didn’t feel right.

When we got home, I spent about 2 hours doing some actual work. Adam assigned me a job to work on some images for a photography project he has been working on. I successfully finished them and felt great doing something to contribute to helping him with his workload. It was really relaxing as I was listening to some Jimmy Eat World and Jonsi & Alex whilst smelling the aromas of some lovely Camomile incense burning. It was really therapeutic for me, so I hope he has some more work to pass on to me! P.s If you are into relaxing, soothing music, I really recommend Jonsi & Alex. It’s not your typical ocean, dolphins and whales. Or your raindrops on forest trees kinda music, its much deeper than that. Its a really beautiful instrumental album played solely on acoustic instruments in Iceland. Go buy their album by the name of ‘Riceboy Sleeps’. You will be very impressed, its quite moving and I listen to it a lot at night time.

Tonight I had dinner with four lovely girls, Erin, Whitney, Kim and Courtney. I had such a great time and I had not seen these girls since I had become unwell. I need to dedicate more time to them because they are so amazing. Erin and I got stuck into strawberry daiquiris and without realizing until I got into my car to drive home, I was drunk!

I’ve been spending little parts of my day uploading old photos of good memories to my Tumblr blog today and tonight. Not long ago I came to a halt and had a cry. Time slips away from you so fast and before you know it you are older than you think. I have such amazing memories with many, many, many friends. Its sad to think that I’ve grown up to be who I am today and be unwell. I would of never expected in my life to be diagnosed with cancer. I guess life has its own way of choosing its paths to each and every person.

Heres a few pics I just found of Jess and I when we were in NYC in 2008. One of the best memories I will ever keep. We had the time of our lives. ❤

Santos Party House – NYC

Jess, Me & mum – NYC cab

Jess & I – The Hamptons

Diet Root Beer!

Soho Grand – NYC

Hamptons wedding reception – Spanish salsa!

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.

I miss you Jess. Please come home soon!!!!!


One thought on “Memories

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