The last week has been pretty hectic, hence not posting for a few days..
When I say hectic, I don’t even mean myself really. This year we kept the festive season pretty chilled out. I think this is how it should be every year? People are so crazy when it comes to this time of the year. The times I did go out in the car to run errands, everything was just manic. Why do people get so selfish, stressed, purchase so many gifts and act like pigs? Its a holiday about family, celebrations and being merry. I don’t ever see much of that, christmas is just a big drama and I think we should all chill out and make it more about having a good time. All I really want is to be normal. Presents are so overrated.
Friday morning I was off to the hospital for a heart scan. As usual I had my cannula put in and nuclear medicines injected through my tube. I had a 20 minute waiting period for the fluids to get through my body so I went outside for fresh air. Normally the radiologists wrap the tube on my arm up with a bandage because apparently the public don’t react too well with seeing the tubes in patients arms or the lil bit of blood pulled back into the top of the cannula, so I was a bit cautious walking around incase someone fainted from looking at my arm.
I didn’t get much feed back on how the scan actually went, a doctor came out and introduced himself and asked me several odd questions, like..
‘Has your heart been acting normal lately?’ and ‘have you noticed any swelling in you’re legs?’
I’ve had some odd palpitations so I mentioned that but he didn’t give me any results. So I hope everything is okay.
Friday evening I went out and spent some time with my two lovely ladies Emma and Lynz. We had a good time as usual. Stayed out pretty late and I kinda paid for that the next day – being Christmas day. I woke up and felt soooo nauseas. I got up early and popped a couple of anti-nausea tablets and went back to sleep hoping to wake up feeling better, but that didn’t happen. We ran late for Adams family’s brunch but it was expected that if I didn’t feel well that it was fine to go a bit later. The heat was so intense and up at 41 degrees or so. That didn’t help the way I was feeling. Adam drove us there and I was nervously waiting for myself to randomly throw up in the car, yet we made it there before that could happen. We didn’t need to be at my cousins house till around 4pm so we came back home and I had a big nap and woke up feeling heaps better. It was nice to see my side of the family because I hadn’t really seen any of them either at all since I became ill, or since I was in hospital for my mastectomy. It was great to catch up with everyone and as I said this year was really cruisy for us and we had a good time. Everyone was blown away by my bald head when I took off my wig later in the evening (due to heat rash and a really itchy scalp!) Many lovely comments were directed towards me which made me feel great, including ‘you look a bit like natalie portman’ – hello? um wow?!
Boxing day we didn’t do heaps. Went to see my mums amazing, new penthouse apartment in south beach. It has quite the view (refer to photos below). Mum hosted a small party so we popped in for an hour or so then came home for a rest in our fantastic aircon at home.
We stayed in and watched Scott Pilgrim vs the World (Michael Cera movie <3) whilst smoking a bit of marijuana. Its actually the first time I have had any since I have had cancer and gee I wish I started sooner. I felt so amazing. All my aches and pains which are always there, had subsided. It was like an outter body experience. Panadol doesn’t do much for me and Codeine blocks me up and makes me nauseas anyway. So thats about all I am allowed to have for pain. I intend on visiting my GP within the next week or so and asking for medicinal again.
Our friend James came over with his Boston Terrier puppy – Huxley to have a little play date with Brooklyn tonight too. It was really cute seeing them play together especially because they are the same size.
Monday I went to the gym. Ohhhh dear, this was a silly idea. The gym I go to is open on from 8am – midday till the 4th of January, so as you can imagine… All members who usually have the option of going somewhere between 6am – 9pm, were all working out in the same space of time. It was so packed. I despised being there as I was the freak of the room with no hair and it was a nice chance for people to stare at me. I didn’t really care too much until I got home and had a cry when I was unchanging to shower. Although my mastectomy scar is fading and the chunky fold of skin under my armpit is getting smaller, I felt really ugly. I just want to be a normal girl again and have nice breasts. Adam was there for me and made me feel great again with his wise choice of words and sweet hugs and kisses.
Later in the afternoon we went round to our friends place at Bondi St. A good friend of ours, Nick had birthday celebrations that we all went to around 6:30pm. I had a couple of drinks and got to socialise with lotsssss of old friends that some I had not seen for years. It was such a good night and so good to catch up with so many good people. I went out with no wig or scarf. Just a cap. Most people are aware now with whats going on so I feel like I don’t need to hide so much or feel like I am exposing myself too much to people. I got a few weird random comments from random people in the beer garden but I didn’t really care.
I will be meeting up with my Oncologist on Thursday afternoon for review and blood checks and then back in on Friday – New Years Eve – for chemo cycle #4. The countdown is ON!