Big heart, Sad heart.

My apologies as due to no internet connection last night this blog update was posted on the 7th Jan 11 rather than 6th Jan 11.

Thursday! My favourite day of the week.

Mum and I went to the hospital at 2pm to have my full blood count.

The girl who usually takes my blood was there and we had a nice chat whilst I constantly quenched my fist several times to try plump up my veins. I had only seen her the week before so she asked why I was back so soon. I told her about the whole double checking for Anaemia in hope of not needing a blood transfusion. She gave me some advice and said even if I had to have a transfusion, its not too bad and I would feel heaps better after it.

As we kept chatting she removed the nasty needle from my arm and pressed the cotton wool firmly in place. We kept chatting for several minutes till she said it was time to take away the cotton wool. Ooops… as she removed it to place a plaster over the little hole in my arm, a thick trail of blood spurted in the air! It gave me a shock and she said that my blood was quite thin and she would mark the test as urgent so we could get speedy results.

When I came out of the room, mum AND dad were there waiting for me, mum had been into my Oncologists room next door and told the receptionist I was here and needed to see her ASAP (due to my phone call to her yesterday with terrible side effects). We went in and didn’t have to wait long at all before I saw my doctor. She discussed my blood results which had come back so fast I was impressed. It had only been about 15 minutes!

My Haemoglobin readings came up as 10.7 which is still low-ish but not low enough to have a blood transfusion which is good. Although this meant something else might be wrong. Yesterday I mentioned lung clotting and heart problems, this is what we are looking into now as I have an urgent multi gated heart scan booked in for tomorrow morning. Herceptin – the cancer preventative chemo drug for HER2+ patients I am on, has a risk of causing trouble with the heart so we are making sure that everything okay and I am not going to suffer from heart failure. I have a pretty good feeling that I will be fine, its just all these weird side effects I am dealing with that scare me. If there is a problem we may have to stop the Herceptin, or cut it back and most certainly, cut back on my whole regime of chemotherapy all together. My poor body has had enough and is starting to get a little frail!

I spent the rest of the afternoon with mum and dad having coffee in Cottesloe which was nice then went into a little health food store which had soooo many good things. I need to go back there soon because we ran out of time. I had to buy some more Iron supplements and I found another Iron product I am going to start taking on top of my tablets for a stronger dose. The lady said they work really well in conjunction with each other. I am thinking of going back and buying a few aromatherapy oils and a mini candle burner so I can put it in my room to help me sleep nicely. I also got some herbal nausea lollies – sugar free! They are full of nice ingredients including: organic slippery elm bark powder, organic essential oils of ginger, peppermint, cinnamon, fennel, anise and coriander. They took a while to get used to but they are quite pleasant and I think they worked?!

I am actually at mums house right now, well one of the two! I decided to stay here tonight to give Adam some time and space to himself. He has been so unreal through this journey and it really can take its toll on you’re relationship if you don’t have good communication skills like we do. I don’t think he wanted me to go but I think its good for me to also spend some quality time with my mum and important for me to have a change of scenery other than my own bed and couch. Its really, really hard being stuck in one place all the time and makes me almost resent being at home sometimes – which is a shame because I am lucky to have such a beautiful home.

Adam could not be any more attentive, positive and loving towards me and I want to be able to live his life as normally as it possibly is for him at such a hard time like this. There are lots of things that go on that I could never express even in words as I am sure you would all understand. Its great to have so many people there for me and all the wonderful thoughts and prayers, but its also just as important for Adam to receive the support I get. Words CAN NOT describe how grateful I am for the amount of support, sacrifices and pure love Adam puts in to his care for me. He continues to tell me ‘this is a WE thing now, not just YOU’. Bless his sweet soul.

After coffee mum and I came back to her wonderful penthouse again, chilled out on the balcony, went for a short walk down onto the beach and got our feet wet (very therapeutic!) and then John took us to dinner at an awesome restaurant next door also on the beach front. I had a vegan pasta – oh my gosh it was so good. Everything was organic and so fresh. I will definitely be having it again!

Mama’s feet & my feet

Balcony life

Scrunching your toes in the sand feels amazing

Therapeutic bliss

My favorite photograph of the day…. how spiritual

Before I go, I thought I would add this in tonight…

As Lynz has headed back home to Canberra I thought I would update her on the news today.


Doesn’t that give you the warmest, fuzziest feeling inside? Such a wonderful string of well placed words that really melted my heart and put a big smile on my face.

Big heart, Sad heart.

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