Getting there..

The last few days have been really exhausting for me. Starting with saturday, it was Adam’s brothers wedding. It was a wonderful day/evening with scorching hot heat and lots of family and friends. I am so glad the day turned out so beautiful as I really found out how much stress goes on when the build up for a wedding takes place! Being engaged, it has kind of made me glad I am waiting for the right time to plan my wedding because I am definitely not ready for it all. Adam was the third groomsman in the bridal party and wow he looked so handsome!

Kim (Dad) & Beautiful Megan
Bridal Party

 

Kissy Kissy
The 'new' Family

Our friend Alana, was the photographer, she shares a studio with Adam and works with him on a lot of shoots. She always does a fantastic job with wedding photography and has already emailed a photo of Adam and I so I will attach it below. (check out her wonderful work at: alanablowfield.com)

The whole day of getting ready with Carla (Adam’s sister) , driving around, ceremony and reception was over 12 hours. It was a very, very long day for everyone but for me I was ready to fall asleep by 10pm. Our friend John was the DJ at the reception which came in handy because I ended up sitting with him for a while to just chill out and rest!

Sunday we didn’t get much of a sleep in although we were really tired. I drank a 2 champagnes, one red wine and one white wine at the wedding the day before and some how did not get drunk? That is bizarre for me, but ofcourse I still had a hangover! We had some VIP tickets to Good Vibration Festival, so we thought we may as well go for a little bit. We thoguht it would be smart to have a drink of Vodka & Dr.Pepper to make us feel better, before headed down at about 6:30pm. I ended up drinking about four more drinks and getting drunk. It felt so good! It had been so long since I was drunk! I got to see heaps of good friends there so I was really glad I went. We caught the train home/walked and finally got to sleep.

Myself & Casey

Once again, monday morning I didn’t get a sleep in because I had a heart scan at 10am at the hospital. Another needle, cannula tube and scan. It went a lot faster than usual thank god because all I wanted to do was go home. My heart scan came up good as well which was great news. Later in the afternoon I went to the gym with Jess. I really didn’t feel like going, but I thought I should seeing as I had ate Mcdonalds three times over the weekend – woops.. Half way through my workout I pretty much just stopped and lay down on a gym mat. I was done. Completely done. I needed my bed, and fast.

Side effects wise, I have been okay. Obviously I am exhausted as you now know, but I am also getting my usual bone and muscle aches all over. My mouth is swallen inside, ulcered and very sensitive. My finger tips from the top knuckle up over my fingertips have severe pins and needles/numbness so I guess I am suffering some kind of nerve issue now. My joints like fingers, elbows, knees and ankles have fluid retention so every time I bend them, it is really tight and feels like the area is going to pop (like if I bend over to pick something up, behind my knees is tight and feels like its going to explode – yes it hurts) ummmm my stomach is bloated, also think my face is a bit puffy. I think thats all.

My hair………. okay, so my hair has not fallen out yet for ages, probably not since 4th cycle? So I have still got lots of fluffy hair, yay! Although, I have more hair on the back of my head. From my forehead to about 1/4 way over my scalp, there is a lot less hair. So I am a bit worried because I think my hair might grow back funny. Like a grampa’s hair – you know, the bald receeding hair line with the dark back and sides? I guess like Homer Simpson kinda thing.

James Nesbitt - Receeding Hair

This is normal for hair growth patterns after chemo. I just don’t want to look like an old man really. I will be taking lots of progress photos of my hair and the way it grows back. I have researched it a lot and everyone has different ways of it returning. It starts off thin and just comes thicker and thicker as months pass. I read on a few websites about purchasing some Rosemary Essential Oil. Using a few drops of this everyday and massaging it into my scalp is supposed to stimulate healthy hair growth. So mum got me some and I use it every night before bed and sometimes when mum is over she gives me a bit of a head massage with it too. Speaking of oils before bed, I am still using Palmer’s Coco butter every night all over, but especially on my scars. I then massage Bio Oil in aswell and seriously, lately my scars are looking great. I am proud that I have kept up all my home remedies because its definitely paying off.

My hair is so long! (jokes..)
More hair
And again....

You may notice from the photo above that also my eyebrows and eyelashes are slowly coming back too (not the wedding photos as I normally draw my eyebrows in anyway). Oh, and saturday morning I shaved my legs for the first time since September 2010! What the hell. I am a little bit sad about that, its been such a good summer not having to wax.shave any body parts. My leg hair was literally a tiny bit of stubble so it hasn’t even grown back yet, so I think I have a bit longer to be excited about being body hairless before it starts returning!

A couple of months ago, Lisa a personal trainer at my gym recommended me to buy a product call ‘RapidLash’. She had been using it for a while and said its like a mascara serum you put on the top and bottom of your lashes and through your eyebrows every night before bed. Apparently after 8 weeks you will notice them growing thicker, longer and darker! So, I obviously went and bought this product, $65 you would hpope it works… I have been using it every night for about 4-5 weeks now and I have definitely noticed a difference! My eyelashes haven’t yet grown back where they fell out, but they are really thick and black. Also my eyebrows. So thank you Lisa and I will continue to use it forever!

RapidLash, you are amazing!

So this has been a big, informative post and I hope you all enjoyed it! I will talk to you all again soon.

Have a fantastic week xo

Sleeping baby Boo Boo
Getting there..

I am blessed

Apart from my little winge/outbreak the other day, I feel like I have been shutting everyone out a bit this week. I haven’t updated with any of my side effects or anything from my last big chemo cycle.. Well, part of that reason is because I have not had as many as usual!

My Oncologist suggested that I carry on with my Dex medication from the thursday before chemo, till wednesday. It helped so, so much. It is supposed to be bad to be on this drug for too long so thats why I could never do it in my other cycles, I guess because this was the last time I would be taking it, that made it okay. So really, just exhaustion, headaches, tummy aches, a few bowel issues, metal tasting mouth/no taste bud sensation and depression/mood swings this time round. When I write that down, it still seems like a lot! But really, its been the easiest one I have had. Maybe my body was also getting used to being thrashed around by this stage?

So I do have a few things to mention.. Firstly, I had a phone call from the lady at Breast Care WA on wednesday morning to tell me they had done a write up on me in the monthly newsletter that gets sent out. I proofed everything through a couple of emails and I signed some consent forms and it will be out soon so I will scan it when it arrives in the mail! Thats pretty exciting I think.

Going back to yesterday when I was really down about my hair, I had such a huge response from everyone who read my post. I hope that didn’t come across as attention seeking or too negative, but I think it is important for me to update when I am feeling down too, not just when I feel positive. Not long after writing that post, Adam brought in a card that was in the mail for me. I was shocked because I totally wasn’t expecting anything and no one had recently asked for my home address? I read on the back of the envelope of whom the sender was.. and it was my friends’ Billie & Crystals mum, Vinka. We talk a bit every now and then, she understands breast cancer well as her mother unfortunately passed away from it. (RIP xo). She wrote me a beautiful warm hearted card and also as I opened this card, a ticket to see ‘Rihanna’ live fell out. WOAH I completely lost my mind! I cried once again from joy. How amazing is that!? Just after I had written a negative blog post saying ‘something good better happen today or I am going to break’.. or something along those lines… I had so many lovely comments and text messages throughout the day, I even had Gem pop past again and leave me some beautiful yellow roses, a card and another very creatively appropriate gesture!

Oh My God!

Sweet gift from Gem, which also came with a packet of sparklers.. (get it?) 🙂

My dad dropped off a package that arrived to his work for me from my cousin Kay in Ireland. Kay has been emailing me lately as she came across my blog and had lots to say about someone close to her that she looked after through a big round of chemo. Kay knitted me a really cute hat for winter! Its pink and it also has a cute pink cherry blossom pinned onto it. I think my head is going to be very happy when it gets cold!

I also finally had my appointment time sent out for my consultation for breast reconstruction. I am starting to get really excited about having a new pretty chest soon and very keen to talk to my surgeon and see what he can do for me! I will be a completely new lady with even better breasts than before. To be honest, I am already scared of the surgery.. Really, really scared.

I am blessed

Depressing rant

Today started well with me getting up early for the first time in months.

Its now heading towards midday, I am still in undies and a t-shirt and can’t stop crying.

My life feels like such a useless mess at the moment, I am feeling very sad about having no hair today and would do anything to have any.

I have been eagerly looking at design jobs online all week just wishing I could make something of myself, but I feel like I am not good enough to do anything. I look terrible and who would want to employ me anyway.

I really, really really hate today. Please let something happy or positive happen to me soon or I am going to break.

Depressing rant