Tomorrow I have decided that it is going to be Cancel Cancer day. Just for me. Tomorrow is my last day of radiotherapy treatment. Thats right, five weeks of chest burn therapy will be OVER! My radiotherapist informed me that it will get worse before it gets better but that doesn’t matter. Its another milestone to cross of the list of recovery. It will be the last day of cancer treatment with side effects. After this thursday’s chemo hit, I will have 199 days left till my last one! Then I can really celebrate. Mum is organising a celebration dinner for the immediate family to make it feel special. I think if we didn’t celebrate it wouldn’t feel real that we had gotten over the hardest part of it all.
This after noon Adam and I saw my breast surgeon for the first time in regards to my breast reconstruction. We are hoping to start this procedure in November which is so exciting because I cam now say I will have breasts before my wedding day (not that I have a date for that yet, but I can start planning sooner than I thought!)
The plan is to eliminate the fact I have a few surgeries ahead of me by condensing them as much as possible. So instead of having surgery in October to remove my port when Herceptin is over, we are going to still do that but at the same time we are also removing my second breast and moving the large muscle from my back (latissimus dorsi) around to the front on both sides. The flap and its blood supply are tunnelled under the skin just below the armpit which then put into position to make a new breast shape. They will then be putting ‘semi-permanent’ implants in which over six months, will slowly be pumped up with saline till we achieve a suitable size for my body. Next they will remove those ‘semi-permanent’ implants and replace them with proper long term implants. Nipple reconstruction and tattooing for colour will come later when the rest has all settled. Its a big operation and takes time to get there, but hey. One day I am going to have breasts so its all worth it. All I can say is, thank god for health insurance! I have always wanted breast implants due to my natural A cup size and now I am getting it done. Although just in much different circumstances. Be careful what you wish for girls!
Yesterday I was blessed by the company of Bec, Phoebe and Harrison. My little neice and nephew. Bec bought me some Chickweed ointment which is supposed to be fantastic for patients on radiotherapy so I am really excited to start using that, it smells really natural/organic which I like! There was also a few chocolates and scratchies so lets hope I win some money 🙂 Phoebe made a really sweet card for me with her own artwork and in her own handwriting which I think is really special. She also drew me a picture of a rainbow, sun and butterflies which I am going to put up on my fridge!
Today again, I came home to a wonderful package in my letter box from Vinka. She has been so kind to me and helped me so much through my journey, I cannot thank her enough! She posted to me a copy of ‘Treasure Yourself” By Miranda Kerr! I have been thinking about getting this book for a while now, well now I can stop thinking about it because I now have it. I love how Miranda has quoted a lot of words from Louise L. Hay as this lady is the author of one of the books I read whilst deeply into meditation classes.. “You Can Heal Your Life”. I am so excited to read this! Here is a little piece I read earlier today that I really enjoyed..
Our journeys are all unique; the colours on our wings are not the same, but at the end of the day we all have the same goal – to get out into the world and fly. If we didn’t face obstacles on our journey then we wouldn’t evolve as individuals. I believe it is these challenges that make us stronger.
Here is another update how my radiotherapy is going. I just had a quick flip through my photobooth photos from when I started putting up images of the burnt area and there is a very noticable change throughout them all! Its so interesting to look back on.. I remember when it first started to go pink I was in shock… Then I look at today’s photo and I can’t believe how it has gradually worsened. I am glad I have been observing the process of it all!
You may notice that I am starting to get darkish armpits due to the hair coming back, I did ask the radiotherapy girls about waxing and yes I have to wait till the redness dies off. Looks like I will have to pretend I am a french lesbian for a few more weeks! 😉 (no offense to any french lesbians out there)
On another note, the past three or so days I have been uncontrollably grumpy and moody. I feel so frustrated and narky. Could it possibly PMS? Am I really going to start having my periods again?! I NEED to know! I’ll do anything to stop this menopause nonsense. Its taking over my life and my hot flushes are getting worse and worse. I can’t even sleep on Valium at night because I wake up in pools of sweat and have to grab my hand fan to cool myself down. If this is really going to happen I think this will also mean my chances of having my own child will be back to being normal again? Correct me if I am wrong.. I’d assume so though because doesn’t that mean your ovaries are working if you can menstrate?! Ahh. Only time will tell.
Anyway, now I am busy watching youtube videos on how to make my hair grow faster.. sooo…. Goodbye for tonight! xo