I wonder why they call it Menopause. My theory is that seeing as you stop producing Estrogen, it kind of makes you feel like a man. Also, it makes you stop and go, ‘wow… I have been menstruating for about four decades and now its come to a hault.’ Hence the ‘men’ and ‘pause’ in pausal. I don’t know, maybe I am silly. Or maybe I should just Google it and find out what it really means?!

Today I spent a good couple of hours at King Edward. A women’s health hospital. My Oncologist referred me here as I am experiencing pretty bad side effects with this forced pre-menopausal crap. Mum and I talked to a really nice lady about my journey and everything thats happened, all my past medial/health history and cleared up a few issues. Unfortunately, when you have chemotherapy treatment it does shut your ovaries down and there is no way of telling when you will return to normal, if ever. (Hence why I had the IVF procedure) This lady told me that chemo puts ages your body by TEN years. So I basically have the body of a 38 year old right now. Isn’t that horrible to hear? It is also a good thing for me though, as I am young, the ten year gain adds my age to 38 and most 38 years have definitely not hit menopause. This gives me a better chance of getting my normal menstrual patterns back. Where as say a 45 year old lady that goes through chemo would be pushed to a 55 year olds body, they have a higher chance of being permanently stuck in menopause. I hope I explained that okay?

On this note, I woke up this morning with TERRIBLE red, raw and sore acne all over my forehead, chin and to the left side of my face. I have had perfect skin all through chemo until now which I was so happy about till today. Adam said ‘wow, maybe it means you are hormonal and your about to get your period back!?’ maybe so. My doctor today agreed with Adam’s comment so I am hoping thats what it is going to be. I had a bit of a mental break down and cry before my appointment when mum came to pick me up. I have been so stressed out this week with so much to do. How can I be so busy yet not even holding a job? My days are chock-a-block full of things its crazy. Mum was so supportive and had a little cry with me. I felt so ugly with my new skin break out. I glanced down at the floor as I was crying and hugging my mum only to see little Brooklyn sitting next to us, her head tilted to one side and her wrinkly little face screwed up as to say ‘whats wrong mum?’ As I was crying I let out a little giggle and picked her up. She snuggled under my neck and started licking my tears as they rolled onto her mouth. I LOVE my dog!

Gross Acne Breakout... Cool PJ's though!

Anyway, back to menopause. The lady has suggested some drugs for me to take which I am not very comfortable with. Once again ‘Effexor’ was brought up. I definitely won’t be taking that. If you haven’t read my older post about this, its a strong anti-depressant drug that also treats hot flushes for menopause. It has some horrific side effects and I don’t think I need any more drama than I already have. The other drug suggested was… ‘Gabapentin’ mum straight away objected to this drug as she takes it herself to treat Trigeminal Neuralgia – (nerve damage in her eye from shingles years ago). Mum said she didn’t think it was a good idea because it makes her really spaced out and floaty. I have actually seen mum on days when she has taken it and it scares me right off it! Looks like I will just have to put up with my hot flushes 😦

I also have to up my calcium intake as my bones could becoming denser from no estrogen. I don’t drink milk. Just soy milk in coffee. Sometimes yoghurt, sometimes cheese and thats about it. I need to make my bones nice and strong whilst I can and maybe have a bone density test to make sure they are going okay. The last thing I want is Osteoporosis. She gave me a few chart print outs of other foods that contain calcium as I need to have at least 1000mg a day to make my bones super strong!

We discussed lots of other issues but and I will be going back in 3 months time. I am hoping that by then, I will definitely be back to normal.

I’ll leave you all here with a photo from today of Brooklyn trying to stop me from writing my entries today. She likes to follow me into the study and come lay on the desk next to me.. Well, not next to me, on my keyboard so my attention is on her, not my work… ❤

Cheeky Boo Boo

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