Alive

So its been a while, yet again. Life is getting busy as it used to be, which is good.

Adam has now been in Phuket for seven days and has finally adjusted to being away from home. It was hard the first couple of days for us both because we have been closer than ever over the past ten months so it was a bit of a shock to our systems to be apart. We have been chatting on Skype pretty much every day just to keep in touch which has been pretty fun. I will be leaving Perth with Scott next monday afternoon to head to Bali for four days, as Adam has very kindly paid for me to meet him there! It feels so surreal. I don’t think it will hit me that I am actually going, till I get onto the plane.

Skype

Lots has happened recently. Last week Adam’s Nonno passed away (yeah, whilst Adam is not home) I attended the Rosary on monday night, following with another mass and the funeral tuesday morning. I couldn’t understand much of it because it was all in Italian. I know a bit of the language but not enough to understand fluent talking in it. Last night I was so exhausted, I think I was not just tired from such a long day, but also emotionally drained. I haven’t been to a funeral for a couple of years and its not something you do everyday.. So I guess it just threw me out a bit. I’m sure everyone else felt pretty similar.

Lynz arrived in Perth last wednesday and we have been hanging out ever since she arrived. It was her birthday on monday which is why she came home! We had a really great weekend full of fun events and adventures. She is back home already now and I already miss her.

Sunday's road trip to 'The Maze'

I have been continuing to see my physio at the hospital due to menopause side effects and now using medication that contains Estrogen to try get me back to being a normal female. I cannot stay on this medication for too long as my type of cancer can actually thrive off Estrogen, so its a very short term thing which we are hoping will be enough to kickstart my ovaries. I am practically praying everyday for them to start working again. I have been seeing SO many babies around lately and feeling cluckier than ever.

I have also been having many visits to my specialist who is taking care of my carpel tunnel/trigger thumbs. He has sent me off for several tests at different places to look further into whats going on with my hands. Whether it is completely a random thing or if it has been triggered my diabetes.. causing permanent nerve damage. He has said that the chemotherapy has definitely taken part in the nerve issues, so right now I am pretty angry at the whole situation. One of these appointments I had to attend, they strapped my hands and arms up with electric wires and zapped me with some prong thing. It was so unbelievably painful that I burst into tears on the bed and in the car all the way home. Why do I have so many problems that are normally aimed at women 40+ ????? I do not understand. Maybe when I actually AM 40, I will really be 80. How exciting. Anyway, I see the specialist again in a couple of weeks so I will have results soon and finally find out whats going on and if surgery will be happening sooner rather than later.

I have been spending lots of time with my mum whilst Jess and Adam have been away which is nice. We have been trying to get our two dogs together and more familiar with each other so I can trust Brooklyn at mums whilst I am away next week. She can be a bit over excited around mums dog Bella, being the cheeky pug she is and thinking she is the boss all the time.

I started watching Breaking Bad (TV series) last week. I had asked people’s opinion in what I should move onto after finishing Dexter. Majority of my friends said Breaking Bad. One friend of mine also mentioned ‘Fair warning, though – cancer is a big part of the plot of Breaking Bad. Depends on whether you really want to be hearing more about that.’ I replied by saying it didn’t bother me at all.. until I got up to the end of Season 1 and half way through Season 2… I found myself crying through several episodes. Not in a bad way, I mean I continued to watch it.. but it was just so realistic. A lot of tv shows make some illnesses and diseases look much worse or not as bad as they actually are, which I think is frustrating. Though Breaking Bad really does portray a very good outlook on how emotions effect not just the individual going through the disease but also how it can effect the family, work and friends.

Walter White
Breaking Bad
Jesse & Walt

Once again, its already been three weeks since my last chemo. I head in on thursday this week and will then be down to TEN more sessions. I am getting pretty excited for it all to be over. The sooner its over, the sooner I get my breasts reconstructed. The sooner my breasts are fixed…… the sooner I can recover and live my normal life again.

Next year is going to be my year, I just know it. It has to be, right?!

Alive

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